Not What I Planned

This wasn't the post I planned on publishing tonight but it will do for now.

I'm sick of of not sleeping, and when I do sleep I'm sick of the "dreams" I have.. I thought they were called dreams for a reason? Aren't dreams supposed to be things that you wish and hope for. Well when I fall asleep, the things I dream about aren't things that I Wish or Hope for. As a matter of fact, the things I dream about are things I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
Most of the time its things that have already happened, and things that I don't want to re-live. So why do I constantly re-live them in my dreams?? In my most peaceful state, why do I think about the things I cannot change? The very same things I think about when I'm awake more then I would like to. I don't want to fall asleep and think anymore. I want to fall asleep and forget the world, forget the past, and forget the things I cannot change. I wish I could have the strength to accept the things I cannot change and maybe in the future change the things I cannot accept..